Greetings!
My name is Brian Belliford. I am an emissary from your long-lost, and singularly wealthy uncle, who would like to remain largely anonymous. You can call him Hank.
I have a message for you from Hank. He has been keenly watching your life and career and thinks that you seem a bit lost and confused. Hank would like to help you straighten things out, but only if you are willing to help yourself.
I know you are probably feeling a little skeptical, since you may not have heard of Hank before, or maybe you have been wrongly told that there is a different uncle who wants to help you, but please, trust me; if you follow the simple and reasonable instructions within this letter, I assure you, you will quickly see and feel Hank’s generous guidance and assistance.
First, you need to send daily requests to your uncle. Not directly, but send them to me and I will pass them along. If you do not feel it appropriate to send them to me, write them on a piece of paper and put them in your dresser drawer. Hank is connected and he will be able to find them. Write down how you think you will best be helped by Hank. Hank may or may not grant your requests, depending on whether those requests are compatible with Hank’s Grand Business Plan (GBP).
Second, Hank demands manners. You need to send daily thank-you notes for Hank’s assistance, even if you believe Hank did not grant the requests from yesterday. Remember, Hank has a proven and reliable GBP, and what you think is best may not have fit into that plan.
Third, you also need to send thank-you notes to Hank when things seemingly go wrong. Hank is exceptionally intelligent, and knows many things you cannot possibly know, so something “wrong” might lead to something beneficial in the big picture. It is also possible that Hank feels you need adversity from time-to-time, in order that you truly appreciate his help and his GBP. So, should you be fired, or lose money, or turn up with ill-health, thank Hank and remember it is all according to and working for the GBP. Give Hank a ‘thanks’ for all his well-advised help; good and bad.
Fourth, make sure to send generous thanks to Hank when anything good happens. Even the small things. Even if you did not ask Hank for that good thing. In fact, especially when you did not ask for it. Hank is always watching and monitoring and always knows what you need before you ask for it (which does not excuse you from sending help-requests). When you get a windfall from an investment, or land a new job that you did not expect, know that Hank was monitoring, and his GBP had put this set of events into motion. Is that not worth a quick thank-you note, and maybe some flowers?
Fifth, you need to send Hank money. Not directly, but send it to me and I will use it under direction from Hank to help you. The more money you send, the more Hank will be able to help you. Ten percent is a good rule of thumb (from the gross, not the net). Should there be any question as to how you spend your limited resources, always ensure to send Hank his share first. If you think you really need the money, Hanks will make sure you get it back, if, of course, he thinks you actually need it, and if you have been sending your thank-you notes.
Uncle Hank loves you and wants to have a deeply personal relationship with you, but needs to ensure that you really trust him before he visits with you. Hank will do amazing things for you, but he needs you to do your part.
This letter is just a rough guideline of how Hank can help you. If you have questions or need more information, feel free to ask me, and I will pass along Hank’s guidance. In fact, shall we set up a weekly meeting? I am free every Sunday at 11:00am. At the meeting, I can pass along any new information from Hank and, if there is no new information, we can go over old information in order to ensure that we have not missed anything which might explain why the GBP is or isn’t working for you.
I look forward to working with you, and send you all Hank’s love and affection.
Sincerely,
Brian Belliford
Emissary of Hank